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Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Money Growing on Palm Trees



By Bee Tree:


TAMPA, FL - Deeply rooted, taller than some buildings, and blowing back and forth in the wind, the palm trees at the University of Tampa are well-known. The fact that each are estimated to cost $6,000 is, however, not well-known. 


In a recent investigative interview with UT’s interim Treasure, Michael Moolah, a piece of information was leaked. 


“Like I was saying, those palm trees are our staple on campus. They cost more than a used 2008 Toyota RAV4,” said Moolah. “We love our palm trees. They just really brighten up our campus and make the students feel like they are in Florida.”


The University of Tampa is located in the heart of downtown Florida. Despite the price tag on the trees, most students agree that the palms are worth the money.


“Honestly, when I came here as a freshman and saw that the campus had 12 palm trees every 50 feet I knew I had to [attend] here,” said John A. Seed, a senior botanical major at UT. 


“We live in Florida, we have to have palm trees on campus or else there is no point in even going to school here,” said Florence Rider. “I say keep spending on trees.”


Even when presented with statistics that the university could save the money to invest in improving parking, academic departments, or even student life, students still favored the trees. 


“I walk to campus every day so that I can look at those magnificent palm trees against that crystal clear sky,” said Robby Frost, a sophomore poetry major at UT. 


The UT Times wants your opinion on the palm trees. Comment below what you think UT should do with its money. 


For updates on this story, subscribe to the UTTimes. We are a non-profit, satirical site and need money for stuff. Venmo will be linked in the about page. No sugar Mamas needed, but always appreciated. 

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