University of Tampa Issues Tuition Refunds Due to COVID-19

  

By: Bee Tree

TAMPA, Fla. - The University of Tampa (UT) has issued a statement saying it will honor a refund to students that qualify due to COVID-19 outbreak. 

UT issued a statement on Monday saying they will honor partial tuition refunds to students that must take classes online from home due to the COVID-19 virus.  

"We know these are troubling times and we want to help our students as much as possible," said UT Interim Treasurer, Michael Moolah. "Obviously, as a private university, we care more about their financial troubles than the cash in our pockets."

The university will offer a $4,233 refund to every student who requires financial assistance. The refund is 6.9% of the full $29,208 per semester, according to math. 

Students have mixed feelings on the percentage that UT is refunding them. 

"6.9% is an excellent percentage," said O.P. Tissim, a freshman at the university. "Like, at least we're getting some of the money back."  

While some students are accepting of the refund, others believe that the University should do more to help.

"If I pay about $30,000 a semester, I expect to get some of that money back if I'm taking online classes the rest of the semester," said Wiz Dom, a common-sense major at UT. "I'm not gonna pay 30 grand to go to the University of Pheonix, am I?"

Students have voiced their concerns over social media as well. 

One student taking to Twitter to write, "Why can I not get a refund, but the school can buy 6 new palmtrees?"

The average cost of a palm tree is $15,000 to buy, deliver and plant. 

For more updates, please visit www.UTrefund.edu 

UT Promotes Vaping

By Bee Tree: 

TAMPA, FL - The University of Tampa has announced that they will be reversing their anti-smoking policy across campus. According to interim Director of Campus Health, Dr. Tobb Acko, this is an effort to make UT appear cooler. 

“Smoking is literally the key factor to whether or not a student is cool,” said Dr. Acko. “Why would we want to make our school lame? We want students to attend the university so why not make it smoker-friendly.” 

The new policy promotes all forms of smoking. Marijuana, cigarettes, Juuls, Stigs, and any other form are not only allowed but encouraged. 

“If you don’t smoke something, you’re kind of a loser,” said Dr. Acko. “I rip the Juul everyday and probably go through 3 pods a day.” 

Students are all for promoting smoking on campus. Every student interviewed agreed that the new policy will increase student numbers and keep the retention rate at a high rate. 

“Thank god I can finally rip the Stig in the Cass lab and not have to worry about getting caught,” said Kyle K. Yle, a freshman at UT. “So many people try and take it away and now they can’t or else I’ll sue. My dad’s a lawyer.” 

“What? You’re allowed to smoke on campus now? Oh man, I am going to go burn in my dorm,” said Mary Jane. 

Even with the prevalent health complications associated to Juul and other nicotine based products, students don’t care. 

“I’ve been coughing up blood for about two weeks now, but its [liquid] so I’m still fine,” said Pre-med major, Preston B. Jelly. “These fakenews outlets are so annoying. They promote nothing but lies and try to present it as facts.” 

Smoke away UT. The policy is here to stay for a long time according to Kerr. 

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Live Blog : UT Presidential Debate

By Bee Tree: 

TAMPA, FL - Wednesday, Oct.23, The University of Tampa Student Government will hold its 2020 elections at 4:30 p.m. The event will include a debate from the top two presidential candidates, Richard Chain E.(Lincoln, NE) and Tom Jef Ferson (Shadwell, VA). 

The topics for discussion include: On-Campus parking, general campus-life, annual budget spending, and nightly routines. 

UT Times will be covering the debate live with in-depth descriptions of each candidate. The voice will be less formal for efficiency purposes.  

5:45 p.m. - The debate is over. Comment below who you think should win! Candidate with the highest votes will be your next UT President. 

5:30 p.m. - The candidates have given the final statements. TFJ stuck to his guns and promised a hard-working, blue-grass style to his Presidency. RCE has promised that he will not betray or manipulate the system in anyway if elected. 

5:15 p.m. - TJF has taken the lead in the debate with this dagger quote, “I honestly just want to do well. My dad always said that I should try my hardest and that’s what I am going to do for you guys and this school.” The candidates are preparing for final statements. 

5:01 p.m. - The audience has just erupted in applause from TJF sitting. I assume he has broken the political barrier and this act has made him seem more human. 

5:00 p.m. - TJF has just sat down on the stage criss-crossed apple sauce with spoons definitely in the bowl. Prior to sitting he stated, “My legs are tired. Would it be weird for me to sit down? I think I need to sit down. I’m going to sit down.” 

4:45 p.m. - The speaker has asked a number of questions thus far. The question about student safety was most revered by the audience. For the past 20 minuets, RCE has been commanding the lead with TJF mainly repeating what RCE has stated but with only one different fact. 

4:25 p.m. - The Speaker of the Floor has asked the first question to RCE. The question was, “In your first 100 days in office, what will be your main goal?” RCE responded roughly with, “I will certainly not betray the trust of my fellow students, but also I will try and keep the student body civil by following their every order.” The same question was directed towards TJF. His reply was similar with the only difference being that he will improve the food around campus. 

4:20 p.m. - The applause have died down. A strange odor has filled the room. I will try and investigate further. 

4:12 p.m. - The candidates have taken the stage. Richard Chain E., RCE, is wearing red and Tom J. Ferson (TJF) is wearing blue.  

Money Growing on Palm Trees

By Bee Tree:

TAMPA, FL - Deeply rooted, taller than some buildings, and blowing back and forth in the wind, the palm trees at the University of Tampa are well-known. The fact that each are estimated to cost $6,000 is, however, not well-known. 

In a recent investigative interview with UT’s interim Treasure, Michael Moolah, a piece of information was leaked. 

“Like I was saying, those palm trees are our staple on campus. They cost more than a used 2008 Toyota RAV4,” said Moolah. “We love our palm trees. They just really brighten up our campus and make the students feel like they are in Florida.”

The University of Tampa is located in the heart of downtown Florida. Despite the price tag on the trees, most students agree that the palms are worth the money.

“Honestly, when I came here as a freshman and saw that the campus had 12 palm trees every 50 feet I knew I had to [attend] here,” said John A. Seed, a senior botanical major at UT. 

“We live in Florida, we have to have palm trees on campus or else there is no point in even going to school here,” said Florence Rider. “I say keep spending on trees.”

Even when presented with statistics that the university could save the money to invest in improving parking, academic departments, or even student life, students still favored the trees. 

“I walk to campus every day so that I can look at those magnificent palm trees against that crystal clear sky,” said Robby Frost, a sophomore poetry major at UT. 

The UT Times wants your opinion on the palm trees. Comment below what you think UT should do with its money. 

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Football is Back Too

By Bee Tree: 

TAMPA, FL - BREAKING NEWS: The University of Tampa has announced that a division II football program will be arriving in Fall of 2024, according to the Athletic Director, Soah Kerr.

“Bringing football back to UT has been one of my main goals as the [athletic director at UT],” said Kerr. “There is a lack of manly, testosterone-filled aggression on this campus and football is a great way to fill that void.” 

The program is expected to generate substantial revenue for the university according to the University of Tampa interim Treasurer Michael Moolah. 

Moolah declined any direct comments due to previous statements. 

The student body is thrilled to have a football program arrive back on campus. 

“This is the best day ever. I can’t wait till I am an eighth year to tailgate the games with my  fraternity brothers,” said Chad Broareyouinafrat, a junior at the University of Tampa. “We’ve had to go to USF tailgates to compensate for the lack of day drinking on campus for too long.” 

With the rise of concussion awareness in recent years, some athletes at UT are hesitant about trying out for the team. 

“There are injuries left and right in college and the NFL, let alone the substantial head injuries that they suffer daily,” said T.J A.J. R.J. Backslashinfourth V, a member of the UT Flag Football club. “That’s why I stay away from contact.”

The reason UT hasn’t had a football program in years past was due to conflict with USF and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Both already share the field, but Kerr has a solution. 

“We will have a one game, winner takes all style match. Whoever wins, USF or UT, then takes the football team with them and the field,” said Kerr. “The players will need to transfer schools of course but their schooling is already paid for so it won’t matter too much.”

The game still has yet to scheduled. 

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The OutPost is Back

By Bee Tree:

TAMPA, FL - The University of Tampa announced Thursday that the building, once known as Outpost, will be returning Spring 2021. The original plans to use the space as a satellite research building have been reverted due to budget problems. 

“Yeah, so we don’t have that much money,” said interim Treasurer, Michael Moolah. “It was a bit of an overstatement when I said we have money. OutPost is a great investment and a lucrative way to get cash from students.” 

The closing of OutPost back in 2018 devastated the student body of UT. According to Upper Class students, the bar was the place to be on any day.  

“I remember going to the bar every single night when I was a freshman,” said Al Kohaul. “I didn’t miss a single 4-7 happy hour. My GPA took a hit, but it was worth it.” 

“I can’t really remember The OutPost,” said John Daniels. “I think that means it was a pretty good time.” 

The university has estimated that it will generate $50,000 in the first two months. This money will be allocated towards planting eight more palm trees on campus according to Moolah. 

While some students are rejoicing about a new bar right across the street from the UT, one student doesn’t agree with the university’s idea to build a new bar. 

“It really just shows negligence by the school to encourage underage drinking to make a profit,” said Patty Proode. “I am in college to do well in school and drinking just distracts students from doing well in school.” 

In response to Proode’s comments, the Dean of Student Safety, Johnathon Shmoltz, said, “...relax…” 

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Parking Crisis Solved

Map of New Parking Garage 

By Bee Tree:

TAMPA, FL - The University of Tampa recently decided to adjust the Ferman Center of the Arts construction plan to incorporate a 16 level parking garage. The change in plans was a direct result of student and faculty outrage due to the overselling of parking passes for the Fall 2019 semester.

“This is a fantastic addition to the campus,” said Walt Pseudo, a student at the University of Tampa. “I strongly agree that parking is the largest issue that UT has and nothing, not even student safety, should take precedence.”

The additional parking is estimated to cost the university $128 million. The payment will come from the university's trust fund according to UT’s interim treasurer, Michael Moolah. 

“We have money,” said Moolah. “Have you seen those palm trees on campus? You think those just grow there? No, those are exotic palm trees specially grown for our campus. I worked hard to get those trees. Money isn’t an issue for us.”   

Even with the addition of 16 new parking levels, some students believe that it won’t be enough. One student, Frank-Amir-Klein-Elliot, a math major at UT, said that the new plan will exclude some students.   

“There are around 10,000 students that attend the University of Tampa. Excluding freshman who aren't allowed to have cars, that leaves 8,000 students. On average, each parking floor has 144 parking spaces. Now multiply that by 16 and you get 2,304. Then add on the 3,500 pre-existing spots and you get 5,800 parking spots,” said Elliot. “Where are the other 2,200 people expected to park?” 

The Ferman building was scheduled to be completed in the Spring 2019 semester, but now will be pushed back to the Fall 2022 semester. 

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